Oops I Did Shave My Head

I should just let the pictures speak for themselves. But here is something I bet you never thought WOULD EVER happen. Think back when "Oops I Did it Again" came out, now look at this....this disaster. You know when I was about 10 years old I tried to convince my sisters to shave their head. I was a merciless sibling, stopping at nothing for my own entertainment and pleasure. My sisters never did shave their head. Probably the best for them in the end. Well, I think my mother had the final say over that issue. But can you imagine the scorn I would have heaped upon them for listening to me?

This might be the first step in a brilliant marketing make-over, given Brittany's history, I wouldn't put it past her. But at first glance, she might have actually lost her mind. Who would have thought that Brittany's career might mirror Mariah Carey's train wreak, rather than Madonna's sustained icon status. It's probably way to early to write off Brittany as was the case with Mariah, but if this isn't the some orchestrated reinvention, we might have seen the last of a credible artist and the beginning of a long down ward descent into a Tom Cruise-like lunacy.

Oh did I mention she looks hideous?

Look at the picture for 20 seconds. IT - looks like an alien. Honestly this act might be manifestation of a serious mental illness....or just really really poor judgement. I'm hoping its the latter so I can heap scorn on her without feeling guilty. Not that a mental illness would stop me from scorning her, but I might feel bad for a second or two.

Oprah and Mike.

Let's be clear, I hate Oprah.

Oprah is a mystical witch as far as I'm concerned. The fact that millions of woman look up to her greatly distresses me. Every time I've seen part of a show I feel like my IQ just dropped a few points, imagine what happens when you watch that show regularly.

Yeah, now I understand why women are crazy.

Yeah I TOTALLY understand now. Sit me down in front of babble talk for an hour each day, I probably would be confused and irrational too.

Anyways I came across this clip from a recent show and wanted to share it with everyone.



I think the whole chat is wildly inappropriate...or maybe it's just me who feels uncomfortable listening to this?


And now to something completely different.

"I wish one of you guys had children, so I could at least kick them in the fucking head or something, the testicles, so you could feel my pain, the pain I have waking up everyday."

A hug? Maybe?....for Mike, he is in a lot of pain. After all people stole money from him, and used him. Poor Mike. He's a sympathetic figure really. And if you don't believe me, listen to him for yourself.





"I'm going to fuck you 'till you love me, faggot"

"Mike why do you have to talk like that?"

"What, I'm talking to you the way I want to talk to you"

Yeah. Take that.

"faggot"

Moniker WHAT!?!?

If you're a Red Sox's fan this will whet your appetite, personally I vomited from thinking about all the money Dice K will make this season. Or I feel inspired to see how the arm feels this spring. I could throw a low ninety fastball with a 26 - 8 curve right?

Sick or inspired?

It is one of the two.



I quite honestly hope Dice K blows out his arm in spring training.

Dice K...right? That is his moniker?

Cool.

I'd like to be referred to as JoE-B when I am posted.


ONE POST EDIT:
This sunday is the superbowl, while everyone thinks the Colts will win, I'm going to be pulling for Da Bears. Now before you send me off to an institution because I think Rex Grossman will win a Super Bowl over Peyton Manning (and I wouldn't blame you if you did, considering I was watching the NYE game when his rating was 0.0 and thought, 'he won't sniff at the starting job come playoff time'). BUT EVERYONE IS CRAZY FOR THINKING DA BEARS DEFENSE will get beaten on sunday. Mark my words. This defence isn't pulling a Patriots choke. Defences win championships. The defence is the reason they made it this far. Bears win on sunday.
Oh and also Bill Simmons is betting on the Colts.
I'll take my chances with the other team.

New Yawrk City Part ONE

New York City is like, kinda, big.

I like big cities. Like undersells my feelings towards urban communities. But nothing prepared me for the enormous monster that NYC is. Buildings are huge. I mean every building is huge. The city covers an unbelievable amount of territory. You see in Toronto, you have three options, you can take the subway, a cab or you can walk. In New York, you don't walk. I mean you can walk, but you don't get to a location by walking, you walk once you get there. The number of people in NYC? Everywhere. You can't get away from the people. There were so many people it made me nauseous. Like I said, everything is big. That underlies my first experience with NYC.

To anyone who has been there, it seems redundant to mention this fact. But if you haven't been there, you have no idea. In addition the sensory system is completely overloaded. Lights, sounds, smells are everywhere. Times Square is a particularly good example of this. Mind you this was during the holiday season, but people were cramped from the sidewalk right into every store. There is just no escaping a sensory overload.

I like it this way. But two things I have been DYING to point out. AS CLICHE as they will be, I can't dicuss the city without refering to them.

1) People are particularly aggressive and rude. This doesn't particularly bother me, seeing as I'm naturally inclined to this disposition, but its shocking. Cliche as it may sound, in Canada, you run to polite people. In NY you get out of the way, or risk being verbally assaulted. I picked up on this quite quickly. The first night I was there, a Saturday night, I became some what belligerent. Nothing came of it, but if you've never experienced me belligerent, it would be hard to convey, other than....WHAT!?!?!.....WHAT!?!?

2) The city is particularly dirty. I'm not talking about litter, either, although there probably is some. My hands though always felt dirty when I was out. The subway cars just looked dirty. It adds a certain grimy element that completes the city. I don't think NYC would be NYC without the grime and the graffiti. Some subway stops are well over 50 years old, and they wear the years on their sleeves. Its kinda neat, there is no way to fake the grime of this many people living in a city. Sure, I feel like I just picked up TB, but on the other hand, I know this is NYC. You can't find grime like this just anywhere.




Tomorrow I will get into recounting THE experience. Believe me, I almost didn't make it home.

Al'ight,
Its been awhile. Things are back to normal.

My feelings on Sloan have soften quite a bit. I used to be a hater. Here is something I found on YouTube, featuring David Cross with Sloan backing him up in Brooklyn. Cross is singing "Jesus Christ Superstar"....which is fitting. Quite fitting I'd say.



I know Brooklyn. Well if you consider knowing it riding through its underbelly. Which is kinda like saying "I used to date this girl" when you really mean you said "HI" to her once.

And while I'm at it:

Sloan - Money City Manics



I used to be such a hater, I don't even know if Sloan fans like this song. But I've come around on it.

Sloan - The Other Man

This song drives me crazy. BY FAR THE WORST SONG by Sloan. Honestly I can't think of a song which matches this song's lame factor. Wait! Did I just use the term 'lame factor'??? Oops....I will now proceed to stick the offending fingers which typed that phrase into a meat grinder.

You think, I'm kidding.

I'm not.

The NYC weekend post is still coming, forgive my tardiness, but I am in-training right now so my time has been very limited. I promise there will be more posts once my life returns to normal shortly. Its pretty funny stuff, so keep posted.

Coming Soon.

Yo.

I am going to try and re-capture last weekend this weekend in a post, so keep posted.

There were moments during the weekend that ranged from thrilling to tramatic.

NYC is something else.